Thursday, March 10, 2011

Crossroads

Jax and I are coming to a crossroads, don't know if that is the right word for it but whatever.  Lately he has had the appetite of a 13 yr old boy and my body just can not seem to keep up.  When he is nursing, he will eat for a few minutes then fall off and cry, then go in for some more and then fall off and cry and over and over this happens.  It makes me feel bad because I don't know why he is doing it.  I don't hear of many other babies doing this.  Is he teething, is it his ears, am I not producing enough milk for him?  I've checked on all these and none of them seem to be the cause.  Or at least not one individual cause.  There is still plenty of milk in there after he refuses to go back for more. And there are no teeth sticking up yet.  The doctor has checked his ears and nothing is wrong.  I'm having to give him a bottle after almost every feeding now. I am at a loss.  I said I wanted to make it to 6 months of breastfeeding, so we accomplished that goal, but now that it is becoming a reality that I may have to ween him soon, it is just sad.  I want my body back but I like the special time we get together that no one else can give him.  Once I stop breastfeeding then there will be no real reason to keep him in our bedroom so having that happen at the same time is just overwhelming to me.  I like having him right next to me but I'm sure he will sleep much better in his soft comfy bed at night instead of the lumpy pack n play.  This part of motherhood is not fun.  It's sad.

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