Off subject

When you know someone is going to die and you have time to process it, it is almost worse than if you just woke up one day and found out they died. There is a thought process to both ways but I think maybe the sudden loss is better. The shock of it almost takes away some of the pain and sadness. You don't have as much time to think about everything. What could I , should I or would I do. Maybe I'm just more emotional because I'm pregnant. Dying sucks either way.