Thursday, February 26, 2009

Message boards

I don't really have anyone in my “real” life that I can talk to about all this IF stuff.  It's a pretty lonely road.  Sure I talk to my mom and sister about it, but they really can't understand.  They are both good about it but I feel so exposed when I talk about it to anyone other than Tony.  I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and my boo hoo problems.  I feel weird if I go into too much detail or talk too long about it.  It still seems like a taboo subject for a lot of people.   

I'm so glad I stumbled upon a while ago.  I lurk a lot but I get excited when girls ask the same questions I was gonna ask and I get answers.  The girls on there seem smarter than some Drs. I've been to.  I guess when you've been poked and prodded and tested enough you start to learn what the heck is going on.  There was so much about my body that I didn't know a year ago.  But I know now.  I know more than I ever wanted to know.  :-)

I'm really ready to get this lap out of the way so we can get moving on the IUI.  I'm impatient.  Hopefully it will all turn out well.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How Ironic

How ironic is it that I have to take birth control as part of my plan to have a baby?  Go figure.

Monday, February 23, 2009

On to another cycle

So I guess we are officially on cycle 14 now.  Last month was the first time in a while that I didn't temp or keep track of anything so it wasn't shocking to not be pregnant this cycle.    But I still had a little hope in the back of my mind that maybe a miracle would happen.  On the positive side, last month I did sleep better than I have since we started this journey.  So that's something I guess.
I wish March 6 would hurry up and get here.  I'm ready to just get this stuff out of me so we can at least have a chance of making a baby.  Obviously we can't do it on our own.  :-(
On one hand I'm really scared to have the laparoscopy.  But on the other hand, I know it's a positive step forward.  One step closer to making that little baby.  
God is teaching me patience and I know it will all be worth it when our little miracle is here.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Baby Shower

So, I went to my cousin's baby shower on Valentine's Day.  It was as fun as can be. Nice to see everyone and see all the babies.  But of course, I wasn't there 20 minutes before the questions started... When are you guys gonna start trying?  Are you off the pill?  Did you go to that Dr. I told you about?  Blah, blah blah!!!  Now, I know they are asking because they care about me and not because they are trying to hurt my feelings or pry into a subject I don't want to talk about, but that is exactly what they are doing.  I literally couldn't hold any of the babies without them telling me I look like a natural or asking me if I'm practicing.  I am trying to keep our TTC journey to as small amount of people as possible.

Why don't people realize what personal questions these are?  They are basically inviting themselves into my bedroom and asking for details.  I guess maybe they think it's okay to ask such questions because making a baby was so easy for them.   Maybe they just don't realize that it isn't as easy for everyone to have a baby.  Some people have problems, some people have to go the extra mile and get lots of test and procedures done, some people are a little sad everyday because it is taking so long and they think about it all the time and they don't want to be asked these stupid questions over and over again.  I wish I could explain to them how rude it really is to ask these questions without sounding like the jerk.  They have no idea what other people are going through in private. Granted, my family aren't the only ones asking these questions, and I'm just as annoyed at those other people but this post is about the baby shower so they are getting my vent.

On a positive note, I found an old friend on Facebook that is going through similar issues and can understand what I'm going through.  So, at least now, maybe I'll have someone I can talk to who gets it.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Catching up

Tony and I have been TTC since January 2008 with no success.  We went about it on our own until October 08.  I was getting impatient and figured something must be wrong.  My cycles were pretty normal and we were timing it perfectly.   Our insurance doesn't pay for any infertility treatments so we didn't need to wait until the one year mark to get testing.  Good thing we didn't wait.   To start off, we got his tests done which came back with some issues, but the doctor said we could still work with it.  Then it was my turn for tests.  Got lots of bw done and it all came back normal.  So next we had to make sure my tubes were clear.  I got an HSG in December and everything was clear.
Since endo runs in my family, the doctor suspected that might be part of the problem.  So he did an ultrasound and found some endometriosis.  Great!  So now we have 2 problems.  Which leads us to where we are today.  I am awaiting my March 6 appointment for a laparoscopy to get rid of the endo and hopefully we'll be able to do an IUI cycle next month.
That's it for catching up.