Tuesday, November 30, 2010

First day

First day of daycare for Jax and first day back at work for me. Let me just talk about Jaxson's first day since his was much better than mine. He started his day at 4:30am tossing and turning. I tried to get him to go back to sleep but by 5:15, I gave up and fed him. I went back to bed for 45 minutes and then I was up for the day. There is a big difference between waking up at 6:30am feeding a baby and going back to sleep for 3 more hours and waking up at 6:30am, feeding at baby and going to work for 10 hours. The latter one sucks. Anyway, he was a happy baby all morning. the closer I got to daycare the more I almost cried, but I sucked it up the best I could. I dropped him off at 7:30. He laughed at me a couple of times and I held him for a few minutes before I left. I left him with a smile on his face and a tear in my eye. I got to work and the first hour seemed like 4. The day dragged on and on and it wasn't even lunch yet. My boobs were killing me since I fed him so early so I pumped around 9:30. Then I pumped again after lunch. And then again before I went home. Each time was harder and harder. For one thing, my boobs aren't used to being pumped that often in a row, so it hurt and all I could think about while I was in there pumping was that I should be holding my baby feeding him, not sitting in a closet looking into a filing cabinet using a machine. But I made it through my day without crying so far. Finally it was time to go home. I picked Jaxson up and the teacher said he did very well. He played and laughed and smiled and he is very strong. But he also has a set of lungs on him and they had to change his outfit 4x because he spit up so much. Overall, though, he had a good day. When I got there, he was sleeping like a baby. Once I put him into his carseat, he woke up and gave me a smile. Broke my heart. I got into the car and he started to cry, so I started to cry and kept crying off and on all night. Jaxson just ate and went to bed and ate and went to bed again for the night. Is that all the interaction I get with my kid now?
Overall, it was a very long and hard day for me and I guess I will never know how it really was for him. I just don't want to lose the bond that we've created over the past 3 months. I'm sad. Everyone says it gets better, but we will see. Day 2 isn't much better so far but at least I got more sleep last night.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Growing up

My baby is growing up so fast already. I love to watch him sleep. He sleeps with one or both arms either behind his head or covering his face with his little hands in a fist. He is giggling and cooing so much now. It's so wonderful waking up and rolling over to see him awake waiting for me to pick him up to eat. When he sees my face, his little face lights up knowing that his mama is there to get him. It melts my heart. He is discovering new things all the time now. He has figured otu that those things on the end of his arms are hands and they can pick things up or he can suck on them. Sometimes he will just hold his hand in front of this face and stare at it in amazement. Tony is having a lot of fun with him now too. They have their own little rituals. Tony puts him to bed at night and sings his little burritos song to him. Tony is so gentle with him at times but he is also a boy playing with his boy doing boy things. It's very cute.
We are still trying to figure out if he is gonna be a redhead or not. In certain lighting, he is definietly red but in others, he looks brownish. Who knows, it's all good.
He had his first Thanksgiving at G&G Ricciardo's yesterday. He was such a good boy for everyone. I can't wait to see how he is at Christmas with all the lights and stuff.
I'm still in amazement that this little kid came out of me.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Newest pics

Sweet baby smirking

With his newest cousin Bethany

Happy Halloween

Such a happy baby.


I thought breast fed baby poop was not supposed to stink until you started adding solids. Granted, he does get 2 formulas a day, but it has only recently gotten to the point of making me gag. Even after I clean him up, the smell seems to linger. I'm sure this is just my imagination but still. Every morning he pushes out something nasty. And when he goes, he explodes. I thought I had a free pass until solids but I guess I was wrong. Can't wait to see what that will smell like. Ugh! Gross.

Monday, November 8, 2010

2 month shots

Jaxson went in for his 2 month shots today. He did so well. Of course he cried but not for very long. I just held his arms and talked to him while the nurse did her thing. I didn't watch but I could tell once she did the first shot because his eyes widened real wide with a look of what the crap just happened to me, and then he screamed. By the time he stopped crying, it was time for the 2nd and 3rd shots, he got the same look and cried and screamed. I had to tell him to breathe, not that he understood me, but whatever. Once I put the pacifier in his mouth, he pretty much soothed himself down. He cried his first real tears today. They were streaming down his face, it was so sad. He was a real trooper though and didn't cry anymore after that. We went home, ate and went to bed. I'm sure he will sleep a little longer today which is fine.