Thursday, April 30, 2009


So, I have a massive headache today.  Of course it is one of the side effects of these pills.  Why do I always have to get the side effects?  I guess it's better than the crying fits of Clomid, but it took a week before I even had any side effects on that.  I'm only on day 3 and already they have started.  Hopefully this will be the only side effect.  I'm very melancholy about all this stuff at the moment, it changes day to day.  One day I'm very positive about it and the next I have my doubts.  It's just nerve racking basically leaving it all up to the doctor now.  Hoping he times it right and everything meets when and where it should.  So much left up to chance.  But I guess it's good to know at least he thinks we have a good chance.  I'm not even sure what the % of chance we have doing it this way.  He didn't really go into that, he just said he thinks this is our best shot at the moment.  I don't even want to think beyond the IUI treatment.  IVF is way to expensive and insurance doesn't cover it.  So I'm praying this works.  It's just been a sucky month and I'm ready for it to be over.  My head hurts.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Time to pop some pills

Well, I saw the nurse today and she said my little ovaries look beautiful.  All systems are a go.  Got my prescription for the Letrazole and got it filled.  Now I'm just waiting to take the first dose.  I just hope these pills are much lighter on the side effects than Clomid.  Clomid was terrible.  I cried everyday for 6 weeks on those stupid pills.  I was big ball of mess on those.  They said these pills should be much better, but I'll believe it when I experience it.  So now that my body passed that test, the next test is next Wednesday.  Blood work and another ultrasound.  If I responded well to the pills, then we can really get the show on the road and do the IUI.   Please God let it happen finally. :-)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

And so it begins.

Well, TOM finally showed up, it's not what I had hoped for but at least we can finally begin on our IUI journey. Hopefully it will be a short, one cycle successful journey. It's a bittersweet day. Looking back at the calendar, we didn't even have a chance with our timing this month. I thought we were right on, but I guess not. Stupid, random, long cycle. I wish we could have done this on our own but at least the dr. thinks we have a good chance with the IUI. I'm not even nervous really. Just ready to get going. I talked to Tony about how much money it is going to cost each month and he said he is looking at it as points on the credit card, which I thought was funny. 65 points each month towards our new washing machine and dryer. We joked that we could call the baby Maytag or Electrolux. Gotta have a sense of humor about all this. So tomorrow I have to call the doctor to set up my first ultrasound and then we go from there. Hopefully my body will cooperate.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I'm back

Well, we're back form vacation. It was great. Very relaxing and beautiful in the Bahamas. Just what I needed. So now, I'm on day 34 and still no sight of TOM. I wish it would just get here if it is gonna come. I took a HPT on Thursday and of course it was negative. It could be too early but I think I just ovulated a little later than I thought. So I'm still waiting...again. Just sitting in wonderland, wishing and waiting. Such is my life.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Okay, I'm feeling much better now.  It's been a week since my last post and I am much less stressed about things.  We are going to the Bahamas this weekend to just get away from everything for a few days before all this making a baby craziness starts.  Now I just have to stop stressing over the plane ride to get there. :-)

Last week we threw a Hail Mary pass as a last chance effort on our part.  We figured now that I'm all fixed, it couldn't hurt to try on our own one last time before we start the IUI process.  At least we will be able to say we tried everything we could to do it on our own.  And maybe, just maybe a miracle will happen.  

Friday, April 3, 2009


I know I should be happy that we finally have a starting point for the IUI, but the stress of the past year is just overwhelming me right now. It seems stupid to be more stressed out now than I was before, but I am. Maybe because now if it fails, we are paying for it to fail. Hopefully not though. I think I held myself together pretty well with all the negative pee sticks, taking my temp every morning, my issues, his issues, the tests, the poking and prodding, the surgeries, having no one who could really understand how I'm feeling, and all the highs of timing things right to the lows of seeing only one line on that dumb stick every month. This will be our 15th month of trying and the weight of it all is just building and building every month. I am stressed out.

So, since basically the past year has been a wash, I'm gonna try to be positive about all this and start over. Since the IUI will be our first real chance at getting pregnant, I'm gonna try to put all the negative vibes from last year away and focus on the fact that we actually have a shot at making a baby in the next month or so.

Thank goodness we are going on vacation before we start the process.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Got the go ahead

FINALLY we can start trying again.  We've been on hold since January because of my lap.  We had our appt with the dr. yesterday to figure out “the plan”.  He said we can start with the drugs next cycle.  Our magical cocktail includes Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI= healthy baby…hopefully.

I also told my boss about some of the issues we are having.  I figured I am gonna be going to lots of dr. appts and taking random hours here and there, so instead of stressing over it, I just told her.  She was really good about it and very understanding.  She even cried with me for a minute, which was kinda weird but whatever.  That's a little weight off my shoulders.

I'm so ready to get this ball rolling.  This is gonna be a long month.