Monday, August 30, 2010


Well, the due date is finally here and I don't think he is gonna come today. No signs pointing in that direction. So I guess I'll just reflect on the good and bad of my pregnancy today so I can look back and remember what I'm getting myself into if we decide to have another baby one day. Everyone says you forget all the bad stuff and it's all worth it once you hold the baby in your arms. I guess I really can't believe that until it happens.

I'll start with the bad so I can end on a good note.
The Bad:
  • Taking 2 years to finally happen
  • Migraines & back pain
  • Not knowing if I could carry to term because of previous issues
  • The loneliness of it all sometimes
  • Aversion to chicken for 4 months
  • Acid Reflux is the devil
  • Hormonal breakdowns
  • Pain in my hands and feet from swelling
  • Restless nights
  • Peeing 5x a night
  • Just being uncomfortable in my own body/ Feeling useless to help with anything physical
  • Not knowing if everything is gonna be okay until he is finally here

The Good:

  • Finally getting pregnant after 2 long years of trying
  • Seeing that little bean on the screen for the first time
  • Feeling the pop, pop, pops for the first time
  • Seeing a little human being inside me on screen for the first time
  • Feeling him kick and roll
  • Getting a little more attention than normal
  • People being nicer to me
  • Seeing Tony and myself transform through out this process
  • Giving the gift of a new great grandson, grandson, niece, cousin and nephew to my family
  • Seeing how excited everyone is about his arrival
  • Seeing the 3D pics and seeing the possible traits of mine and Tony's in him
  • Creating something that will connect Tony and I forever
  • The antcipation of it all
  • Becoming a mama

I'm sure there are more things on both sides but that's it for now.

Tony finally got the garage so we can park both cars in it but I still don't think I want to park in there. The carseat base is in the car. The room is ready...enough. The business is up to date. The bags are packed. And I'm ready to get this show on the road. Tony is fine if it doesn't happen until Friday but I'm ready now. I guess it's all up to baby at this point. I hate waiting.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


I had lunch with Kylee, Kristi and my mom last Saturday. Kylee was on a role with the insults. It was funny because I know she didn't mean them to be offensive but they just kept coming out of her mouth.

First, we were talking about how much weight I'd gained and that I didn't think I'd gain much more before the baby comes and she says: I don't think you COULD get much wider Aunt Kim. We all just looked at her and busted out laughing. She didn't realize she had just insulted me by basically calling me a wide load. She's lucky I have a good sense of humor.
Later that day, we were riding in the car, listening to the radio and I was using my "in front of other people singing voice" and she says: I feel sorry for this baby when it comes time to sing him to sleep. I said why? And she said: Because Uncle Tony can't carry a tune and you sing all weird on purpose. How is he every gonna fall asleep with that?
I said: We can always hum. :-)

My Grandma

This is random, but it's been going through my mind a lot throughout this pregnancy so I'm gonna write about it. I'm kinda mad at my grandma, not really mad but mad at the situation I guess. She died suddenly last year around Thanksgiving. Before I got married, I used to joke with her that she needed to stick around until I found a man and got married because she was there for everybody else's weddings...and she did. Once I was married, I joked that she wasn't aloud to go anywhere until I had a baby...well as you can see, that didn't happen. Sadly, she died the month before I got pregnant. In the last 5 or so years since I have lived on the same side of town as my grandparents, I got to know them a little better since I visited them more often. I always enjoyed shocking them with my exploits of things I did that they may not have appoved of but I think they appreciated me sharing with them. It was fun to see her go from shocked and picking her jar off the floor to being a little more open minded about things everytime we talked. Anyway, I know she would have loved to see me go through all this baby stuff. I'm sure I could have made her blush several times with talk of baby making and everything I've experienced this year.
I guess the problem is that I'm somewhat jealous that she got to meet and experience Kylee and my other cousin's babies and she isn't around to see mine. I know she won't see Denise's new baby but it's not the same. This is my first and possibly only baby. She got to meet everyone else's first and second. Maybe it's selfish of me to think this way but it has been bugging me throughout this pregnancy for some reason. One thing that makes it okay I guess is the thought that maybe she just needed to hand deliver the message to God that Kim and Tony need a baby. After trying for 2 years with nothing happening, I was about to throw in the towel. But considering the fact that the month after she died, I got pregnant, I just like to think she wentup there and told God it was time for this to happen. I know she is watching all this happen from up there but it would have been nice for her to see it in person. Anyway, that's my random thought for the week. I'm just ready to have this baby now.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

39 week appt

Here's my 39 week pic.

Still weighing in at 172, so I guess this baby is just eating all my calories. Good for me, hopefully okay for him. I don't want a 9 lb baby. I've been treating myself to a dessert pretty much everyday lately. :-) Dr. says he will probably top out at 8 to 8.5 if he goes to the due date. We talked induction today and the Dr. and I decided to schedule an induction for next Friday September 3 if the baby doesn't come by then. That way, he can deliver him and I won't have to wait until after the long weekend. I'm good with that.

He says I'm still about 2cm dilated but I'm 80% effaced, which I guess that's how soft my cervix is. Other than that, I was having a few little contractions today and I told him the baby isn't moving as much so he put me on the NST machine again. Everything looked great, the heartrate is still in the140s.

Friday will officially be my last day at work, if I make it that long. So glad to have to end dates now. One for work and one for the pregnancy. I will only be pregnant 9 more days at the most. AMEN! I hope I make it to this weekend.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Contractions and 38 week appt

Well, I got my first taste of REAL contractions yesterday. I woke up with pain in my upper abdomen which didn't go away all day. Good thing I had a dr. appt that morning. At work, I had my annual review, so I did that in case I wasn't coming back for whatever reason. Got a raise finally after a 2 year freeze. When to the doctor at 11 and got a growth ultrasound. Everything looked good and she said the baby is weighing around 7.5 pounds. He is in the 80 percentile which means he's a bit chubby but still in a decent range. As I was laying there, the pain in my abdomen was getting worse. When I went into my exam I told the doctor this as I starting tearing up from the pain. He checked me out and said I'm dilated between 1 & 2 centimeters and my cervix is softening which is all good news. He put me on this NST machine (I don't know what that stands for), which can basically tell if you are having real or fake contractions. I was on there for about 20 minutes. The baby was not really cooperating, he was sleeping. So they woke him up with this buzzer thing and then we could see that I was having a few real contractions but nothing to freak out about. they only went up to about 35 on the meter which is not bad if 100 is the highest. The doctor said if they don't go away, then they will put me into labor soon but if they do go away, they can come back in a day or two and just come and go for the next week or so until it puts me into labor. Well, I had a painful day with some more contractions but finally they let up around 10pm last night. Today I feel better but his movements are getting a little more painful. I'm not really looking forward to the pain of all this if what I had today was just a bleep on the radar of the really bad contractions. Pain meds are gonna be the first thing I ask for when I get to the hospital.

I weighed the same as last week 172. So I'm still at 26 pounds total so far. He said my dizzy spells and blurred vision are probably because I need to eat more or better. My hands still hurt alot everyday. Yesterday I could barely hold a pen in my left hand because my pointer finger hurt so much. Not much I can do about it though. I finally packed the hospital bag, at least for the most part. I'm sure there are some things I've forgetten but at least I've got something in there.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Done, done, and done

Got lots of things done this weekend. Last Wednesday my work gave me a little shower and a gift card to BRU. So on Friday, Tony and I took the day off to spend the day together. We went to lunch at Hamburger Mary's and I got some fried twinkies, YUM, then we saw The Expendables (his choice) and then we went baby shopping for our last bit of stuff we need (my choice). We had a $200 gift card so we got the Pack N Play, a swing, diaper bag, a some other little things.

On Saturday, my mom came over and helped me put together the PNP, swing and a book shelf. Thanks goodness she helped and we did it now because I am running out of gas. I don't know where people say they get a burst of energy at the end because I'm heading in the opposite direction. Tony got the garage in better shape but there is still more to do in there. We just need one car to fit right now, at this point, we can fit about a half a car.

Tony is so cute, I think he is trying to spend as much alone time with me as possible lately. He even came in and watched a chick flick with me on Saturday night with no complaints and I didn't even ask him to watch it. He just came in the living room and laid down on my lap and we watched the whole thing together. After it was over, I told him I was proud of him and he just said he watched it because he likes Kevin Klein movies. Uh huh, whatever you say. ;-) It's kinda sad but nice to see the change that has come over him in the last few weeks or months about all this. It's sad because we both realize that change is headed our way and we are both scared s**tless but we are coming together for it. But it's also neat to see him finally come to some sort of terms with it and I just know what a good dad he is gonna be. Whether he has faith in himself or not, I know he will be great. Between him, the cat and the dog, I'm feeling very loved in my house. I hope they all act this way when the baby gets here.

I've washed pretty much all the clothes and blankets etc. that I can. It took 4 loads but it's done. Pretty much I jsut need to pack the hospital bag now. I think I've been putting it off because I'm scared to pack it. I don't know. I really don't think this baby is coming until at least the end of next week but I just can't bring myself to pack that bag yet. Everyone is getting on me about it.

Baby has definitely dropped but it hasn't really eliviated any o f my issues. Acid reflux is still in high gear and now I have to pee even more. Tomorrow we get to see the baby one more time before he is an outside baby. Hopefully everything is going well and I've made some progress.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

37 week pic

I look a little too excited in this picture.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

37 week appt.

So the doctor thinks this baby is about 7 pounds already. I get another ultrasound next week so we can see what we are dealing with concerning size. I think he's gonna be an 8 pounder but what do I know. I'm just glad I get to see him again. His heartbeat was around 140 and she told me what I thought was his butt poking out at me is actually his knee or foot. I think he has definitely dropped this week. I think I can see it in the pictures and I have to go to the bathroom much more lately and I feel a little more lower pressure. Supposedly I gained 4 pounds in one week. I weighed in on a different scale that always makes me heavier than I am so I'll just wait until next week to see if I really ballooned or not. I don't think I did but who knows. So as of now I've gained 26 pounds. I am negative for the Strep test. Yeah! No antibiotics unless I have a c-section. Other than that, everything looks good and I still feel blah, which is to be expected I guess.

P.S. Yeah, I'm finally a watermelon. Aren't you excited mom?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

37 weeks

Baby is moving like crazy the past few days. He actually hurt me yesterday. He must have rolled over of something because I jumped back from my chair in pain and had to stand up. But he just kept on moving like it was nothing. He has been very active this week. Hopefully that means he is making his way down and getting ready to come out. The past few days I've been waking up 5x a night to go to the bathroom. I thought it was bad when I woke up 3x a night. I hope that means some sort of progress is happening. The acid reflux is no better though. I don't know what has been my worse issue with being pregnant, but that is way up there.

Right now I'm so miserable and focused on getting him out that I keep forgetting (not really) about what happens once he is here. We are gonna be parents! We are responsible for this little creature forever or at least 18 years. :-) I complain about the sleepless nights now but I know a different kind of sleepless night is coming. At this point though, I look forward to only napping for 3 months while I'm off work, at least in a few weeks I will physically feel better and I'll just be tired, not both at the same time. At least that's what I hope.

Sadie and Joy are still all in love with me. I wonder if Joy will change once the baby gets here. She really couldn't care less about me before I got pregnant, now she is in LOVE with me. She almost likes me more than Tony now. Sadie is just doing a good job of being my protector. Wherever I am, she is not far away. She even guards the doorway when I'm taking a bath. She is jealous of Joy being around me so much but nothing I can do about that. She has been more vocal lately, trying to talk to me I guess. I think they will both do well in their own little way with the baby but there will be a big transition for everybody once he gets here.

Tony is still scared to death of what is coming. He's never really failed at much in his life, so I dont' know why he thinks he will be bad at all this. I think he will be great (as long as he doesn't sleep through every night feeding and diaper change). He is instinctually good with kids but he doesn't think he is. Everyone else can see it though. He is a 34 yr old big kid and I think that will be good and help him in these early years. He is worried that his heart is only big enough to love me and I told him that his heart will make room for this baby. There is almost no way he couldn't love it. We made this baby together, out of love and that is what we will get in return from it. He is also afraid of not being #1 in my life but I told him that we just have to make sure we make time for each other. I'm scared that because he's a boy, maybe they will like each other better than me and I'll be the odd woman out down the road. I don't think Tony really thinks about all my fears of what's happening or gonna happen. I have a lot of fears too.

Friday, August 6, 2010

35 & 36 week pics

35 weeks, no makeup and looking miserable

36 weeks and looking better since I got some sleep the night before.

Carpel Tunnel

I now have carpel tunnel in both hands. I have a brace I'm wearing at work but it doesn't do much. Dr. says it should go away soon after I have the baby. For now, there's not much I can do about it. I woke up last night thinking I broke my finger. I just sat there in the dark touching it and moving it thinking it was broken, it hurt so bad. But alas, it is fine, my fingers are just killing me all day now. I feel like I have arthritis. So this is my newest fun pregnancy symptom. I've had it about 5 days now. On a good note, my back hasn't been hurting as much lately so I guess I've just replaced one ache with another. Such is life I guess.
Hopefully getting some sun at the beach this weekend will give me a boost of energy and feeling good so I can get through these last few weeks.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

36 weeks appt

I'm measuring back on track this week at 36 weeks. I was 5 days ahead last time. I gained no weight so I'm still holding strong at 168 for a total of 22 pounds of weight gain. Baby's heartbeat sounded wonderful and everything looks good with me too. Got the group strep B test today. Basically it's something that if I have it, it won't hurt me but can hurt the baby when he is born. I find out the results next week. If I have it, then I have to take antibiotics now and ASAP at the hospital and the baby will have to take antibiotics when he's born. The only thing that scares me about this is the antibiotics part. After having C-diff last year from the antibiotics, I'm more prone to getting it again. I don't know what I will do with myself if I got it again. It was terrible and scary and I don't know if I coudl handle it with a newborn baby to take care of. Pray I don't have it.

He did an internal and says that baby is still way up there and no dialation. So I guess that means he gonna be in there for a while longer, which is good for him and not so good for me. Baby still needs to be in there for a little longer to grow but I am physically done. I'm trying not to be selfish or sound selfish about it but I am truly done with being pregnant. I'm finding it hard to think of anything positive about how I feel. I'm miserable and in pain everyday and I know most pregnant women feel this way by this point, but I just can't lie to myself anymore. I know I have no choice but to keep going, the baby will come when he's ready, but physically, I'm done and mentally it's taking it's toll on me too.
Word to the people, tell me I can do it, give me positive energy to get through these last few weeks because I need it.
I bought myself some jellybeans and Tagamet at lunch today. Hopefully they will both make me feel a little better.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Hold on...

I have to got o the bathroom.
That is my life now. Everything I do, revolves on a trip to the bathroom. I am now a tester of every department store, movie theater, restaurant etc. bathroom that I come across. I should have invested in Scott Tissue a few months ago because I now go throw a roll every couple of days, I pee so much. I can't wait to have my body back. I know it will be a different body but hopefully I will have some resemblance of normal again once I pop this kid out. I have no idea how long it will take to get back to normal since I've never done this before but I'm definitely looking forward to it.