Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
So my options are:
- to just take the month off and relax
- take birth control for 2 weeks to break up the cyst and have an earlier period for next cycle
- since I ovulate on my own anyway, take the Ovidrel shot and do the IUI without taking Femera and hope for the best
She said maybe taking the month off and just trying on our own would be good because it's less stress and maybe that will help things out. But after 14 months of trying on our own, we know that probably wouldn't work anyway. She said the birth control route would only make my cycle shorter by about a week and she didn't recommend that one. So I am going to say go for it and try the Ovidrel and IUI without the pills and see what happens. I just don't want to sit around and not try at all and possibly miss the one egg that will fertilize.
She was also going to test my ovarian reserve today but she couldn't because of the cyst. So next month I get to look forward to that. I thought I already had that tested but I guess not. That wil tell us how good my eggs are if we should continue the IUI's or if we need to move on to more aggressive treatments. Lord help me if my reserve sucks. Tony does not want to pay for IVF and it will just be devastating all around.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Here we are a year and a half into this thing and nothing to show for it but doctor bills and a broken heart. Is it getting harder and harder to put myself through this every month? Yes, but it wouldn't be worth it if it wasn't so hard I guess. I just don't understand why it has to be so hard for me and so easy for others. God must believe I am one strong woman to put me through this. I know he won't give me any obstacle I can't overcome or handle but sometimes it's overwhelming, especially with everything else going on. I know other people have it worse off than me in one way of the other but this is my day of the month that I let myself go off on this stuff so I'm venting and having a pity party.
God, I'm just asking that you go easy on me this month. Give me the strength to deal with whatever happens, good or bad. And give me patience to live on your time and not mine. I'm trying.
So here we go again. Good luck to myself and Tony. We need it. :-)
Monday, June 1, 2009
You would think I would have a break in thinking about all this since we are buying a house, and I've got other things to worry about, but no, still in my mind everyday. Why would it work this time? What will be different?
So many doubts but trying to stay positive. It's hard but I'm trying.
So far so good this month though. :-)