Thursday, April 14, 2011

Time to ween

I had planned on breastfeding for only 6 months but here we are 7.5 months and still going. I am proud that I 've made it this far. I almost gave up several times because of my back pain and the doctors won't give me any meds until I stop breastfeeding so I have suffered through it.  But now, I think it's time to really start weening.  It's to a point now where I have to choose between my well being and breastfeeding and I'm choosing me this time.  I feel guilty and sad about it but I am just in a lot of pain and I need some meds and different therapies to help me.  Jax is getting so big so fast that my muscles just aren't strong enough to handle it in the condition I am in.  I want to be able to carry him and play with him and not be in pain for days.  I've cut back on pumping at work but I'm just gonna stop altogether after this week.  I don't know how long it will take to stop completely but I'm thinking once I stop pumping at work, my supply will go down and he will need more and more formula.  I hope I can still feed him in the morning and before bed for a couple more weeks to let me down easy but we'll see.  I'm not really sure about this decision because once I stop, it's over for good, but I think it will be for the best for both of us.  I need to get helathy and Jax will still know that I love him.  I will miss the closeness of it but I know I can still feed him his bottles and be the one to rock him to sleep.  I do look forward to owning my own body again.  I know I'm just trying to talk myself into being okay with it but it is really a sad thing to go through.  Hopefully we will both transition okay. :-(

1 comment:

  1. Good luck, you did awesome for breastfeeding that long! ;) Way to go, Momma!