Stress

I know I should be happy that we finally have a starting point for the IUI, but the stress of the past year is just overwhelming me right now. It seems stupid to be more stressed out now than I was before, but I am. Maybe because now if it fails, we are paying for it to fail. Hopefully not though. I think I held myself together pretty well with all the negative pee sticks, taking my temp every morning, my issues, his issues, the tests, the poking and prodding, the surgeries, having no one who could really understand how I'm feeling, and all the highs of timing things right to the lows of seeing only one line on that dumb stick every month. This will be our 15th month of trying and the weight of it all is just building and building every month. I am stressed out.

So, since basically the past year has been a wash, I'm gonna try to be positive about all this and start over. Since the IUI will be our first real chance at getting pregnant, I'm gonna try to put all the negative vibes from last year away and focus on the fact that we actually have a shot at making a baby in the next month or so.

Thank goodness we are going on vacation before we start the process.