I'm measuring back on track this week at 36 weeks. I was 5 days ahead last time. I gained no weight so I'm still holding strong at 168 for a total of 22 pounds of weight gain. Baby's heartbeat sounded wonderful and everything looks good with me too. Got the group strep B test today. Basically it's something that if I have it, it won't hurt me but can hurt the baby when he is born. I find out the results next week. If I have it, then I have to take antibiotics now and ASAP at the hospital and the baby will have to take antibiotics when he's born. The only thing that scares me about this is the antibiotics part. After having C-diff last year from the antibiotics, I'm more prone to getting it again. I don't know what I will do with myself if I got it again. It was terrible and scary and I don't know if I coudl handle it with a newborn baby to take care of. Pray I don't have it.
He did an internal and says that baby is still way up there and no dialation. So I guess that means he gonna be in there for a while longer, which is good for him and not so good for me. Baby still needs to be in there for a little longer to grow but I am physically done. I'm trying not to be selfish or sound selfish about it but I am truly done with being pregnant. I'm finding it hard to think of anything positive about how I feel. I'm miserable and in pain everyday and I know most pregnant women feel this way by this point, but I just can't lie to myself anymore. I know I have no choice but to keep going, the baby will come when he's ready, but physically, I'm done and mentally it's taking it's toll on me too.
Word to the people, tell me I can do it, give me positive energy to get through these last few weeks because I need it.
I bought myself some jellybeans and Tagamet at lunch today. Hopefully they will both make me feel a little better.