Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Life changes

Well, it's been a fun ride but my time of having 4 day weekends and sleeping in with my boys on Fridays and Mondays have come to an end.  As of next week, I have to go back to work full time.  It is bittersweet.  On one hand, I will get all my benefits back and I will be making a lot more money and saving a lot more and it should take some of the burden off of Tony.  On the other hand, I already miss the time I won't get to spend with Jax and Tony and just having time to myself to do what needs to be done and relax.  Part time really was the perfect way to work and have a life.  Now I'll just have to make the most of the weekends.

Hopefully it will be easier this time to work full time and have enough time at home to get everything done without being burned out.  When I went back to work after maternity leave, there just didn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done and I missed my baby so much.  This time, I just hope it will be a little easier since Jax is more self sufficient and I don't have all those hormones running through my body. 

I was given the opportunity to go full time or quit but I had to make the decision within a 12 hour period.  There really was no choice.  I can't not work.  We make good money but I still need to work.  So I said I would come back on full time.  I really wish I could have had the summer to be home with him but changes at work made the impossible.  I have to learn some new skills and I hope I'm up to the task.  I'm gonna do my best, but who knows if that is good enough. 

Looking back, I am questioning if I used my extra time at home as well as I could have.  But I guess I shouldn't do that because I can't change it now.  It is what it is.

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