I am tired. Not just tired, but wiped out. I don't know how single parents do it. If I didn't have Tony to help out occasionally when I needed it I don't know how I would manage. I am used to 9-11 hours of sleep to function. Now, I go to bed between 11-12 and if I'm not woken up by Jax around 3am, then I am up anywhere from 6-7am getting Jax fed and myself ready for work and I am gone from 7:30am til 6pm, 5 days a week now. When I get home, if I'm lucky Jax is asleep and will stay sleeping for at least 20 minutes so I can empty his bag, clean the bottles, get the bottles for the next day ready, repack his bag, change my clothes, go to the bathroom, and figure out what's for dinner. If he's not asleep, then none of that gets done until way later in the evening. Then I still have to feed him, feed us and play with him if he stays up long enough to do that. By this time it's already 8pm or so. Throw in 1 more feeding and watching a little tv and that's my day 5x a week. I don't like it. I have no time to get things done. There was no mention of working out, cleaning or groceries in there because I have no time to do it during the week. Showering? Um, not as often as I'd like is all I will say. Time with Tony? Not as often as I would like. We are only in the same room if I am feeding Jax in the office or if a tv show that we both like is on. Tony is stuck in the office most nights doing Gasket Guy since I have no time to do it now. Half the time, Jax is so tired from daycare, he barely stays awake an hour the whole night, so I don't get to interact with him that much during the week. I just don't know how people do it. I guess I do, because I am doing it, but how do they do it without burning out. I used to love shopping, now it's a chore because I would rather stay home and "rest". Visiting people? No thanks, that's a chore too, you can come to us. Hanging out with friends? Well, that would mean I have to decide to hang out with them instead of my baby who I haven't seen very much all week. The weekends are a whole other ordeal. That's when I get to clean the house, go grocery shopping, do the laundry, do a little bit of Gasket Guy and any other thing that was neglected during the week. Sleeping in doesn't really exist anymore and I know I signed up for that when I had a baby, but, my husband sleeps in ALMOST EVERYDAY! Even the week days. And I'm expected to do all this everyday. Not fair. I'm just tired, did I mention that already? Tired, Tired, Tired. And to top it off, I have no days off at work until next year. The holidays are this weekend and they are just gonna make me more tired. Bah Humbug. Just call me Scrooge.
I'm so so tired I didn't even make any paragraphs out of this.