Babymoon

Getting ready for our babymoon on Thursday. Cruising to the Bahamas for some sun and fun while I'm still small enough to enjoy it. I just look forward to getting out of town for a few days. We are so used to going on 2 trips a year and we haven't been on any vacations since last April. I guess we are spoiled in some sense but even after the baby gets here I hope we still vacation a lot. It is so refreshing to get away.

Tony officially felt the baby this weekend. He kept thinking it was his pulse but then the baby kicked him hard and there was no denying it. It wasn't that exciting to him but I guess that's fine. Maybe he will be impressed when he sees him move around from the outside.

I hope I get more excited about registering next week. I am just not that into it yet. There is just so much stuff to go through and I don't know what I need or don't need. I'm just ready to get our house in shape so we can start setting up the room.

Baby Boy!

It's a boy! No denying it from the pictures. I had my 20 week ultrasound today and they said everything looks great and right on track. I've gained 8 pounds so far. At this point I should have gained about 10 by now so I'm pretty much on track. Although the Dr. did give me a little crap for gaining 6 lbs in one month, saying I should only be gaining a pound a week and I gained 1.5 week. Well, I was just catching up since I had only gained 2 lbs before that. Whatever!

Anyway, baby weighs 12 oz, about the weight of a can of coke. He has all his little body parts and was laying on his belly for most of the appt. We had to make him roll over to get some of the images. He was a little stubborn but finally cooperated. We could see brain activity and his little heart just beating away. His little muscles on his arms were so cute, takes after Tony with his "guns". We got our money shot and he is definitely all boy. Yes, I wanted a girl but I'm not really disappointed or anything. It will just be a different adventure. Maybe we will get a girl next time if we try again. I'm going to go buy a little outfit this weekend and hang it in the closet to remind us of what is coming our way. I think it will help make it more real too. Tony is still determined to call it Blake but I'll let him have his way until the baby gets here. Then we will give it his real name. Last night Tony came to bed and said "Goodnight Blake" and I said shut up and then we laughed and went to sleep. At least it's a start.

Freak out!

I had a mini freak out last night. I didn't sleep well last night at all. At first I just couldn't get comfortable and then I just started thinking and that usually doesn't bode well for getting a good night's sleep. I just started thinking about having to go grocery shopping with a baby. How will I know how to fit the carseat on the cart? Will Tony just have to come with me everytime or do I just leave the baby at home? Or, if I go to church, do I bring the baby inside in the carseat or in the whole stroller? What if it starts crying? Do I just leave church or any other function I may be at? What if I have trouble breastfeeding? I don't want everyone looking at my boobs trying to help me, so what do I do in that situation? I kept trying to remember what I've seen other mom's do and it was like I have never seen another mom do anything with a baby. I guess never having to deal with those situations, I've never really looked for those things.

Anyway, thoughts like those kept me up for a while and I had a mini panic attack. Everyone is so concerned with how Tony is dealing with all this that I kinda feel left by the way side like I will just know what to do when it happens so no one seems too concerned with me. Well, I'm scared to death to think of all the things I have no idea how to do with this kid.

I'm excited to find out for sure if it's a boy or girl on Thursday but it also will mean that it's all really happening. Things will start to be bought for it, the room will start to come together, our life is gonna change and that is freaking scary. I don't think either one of us realize what we are in for. I lay in bed atnight before I go to bed and just listen to the silence and know that it will not always be like this. I know in the beginning it's gonna be hard but I just hope there are lots of happy moments in there to make it all worth while. I know there will be but right now I can not even imagine what our life will be like in about 4-5 months.

Just had to get that out of my head. Let the freak outs begin. I know they are coming.

On a good note, I felt the baby from the outside last night. I got Tony out there to feel it but of course it stopped before he could. But at least now it's kicking hard enough to feel so I'm sure Tony will feel it in the next couple weeks.

Body - 19 weeks

Well, at my last appt I had only gained 2 pounds so far. The doctor said this month would be a big weight gain month for me. Well, he was right. I think I've gained between 3-5 pounds since last time. Luckily it is still mostly belly and a little bit of boobs. My hips fell like they are widening but not too much yet. It is starting to get a little uncomfortable to sleep on my sides now because of the extra belly weight but I still sleep better than I did before I was pregnant. I hope I don't start to freak out about the weight gain. I know I need to gain weight, I just hope I can do it slow and steady.

The baby is moving more now. I think I feel it everyday but it is still so soft that some days I forget if I felt it that day. This morning it was going a little crazy. It likes the left side a lot. Maybe it will be a left handed baby and make mine and Tony's life a little easier when it comes time to teach it stuff.

One more week until we hopefully confirm with this little mango is. I hope it cooperates so I can go buy stuff with confidence.

Kick Kick

Felt my first real kicks today at 18 weeks. Just sitting at work doing my thing and all of a sudden...kick kick on my left lower belly. Definitely different than the little pops I've been feeling the past couple of weeks. It kinda startled me at first but I knew what it was right away. Kinda cool. I felt my belly and I could feel exactly where he/she was laying. I've been rubbing on it today so maybe that triggered it. Now I'm just waiting for it to happen again. :-)

7-17 week progression

Ultrasound

Had my 16 weeks ultrasound today to check my cervix and the baby. I was getting nervous beforehand but my fears were put to rest once we got going. The doctor said my cervix looks good to go and nothing to worry about and the baby looks good too. HB was 147 and strong. It was moving around stretching and waving to us. It wasn't very cooperative when it came time to see if it is a boy or a girl but the tech said she is 80% sure it is a boy. I saw what she saw and I just knew she would say that. I guess I still have a 20% chance of having a girl but I'm pretty sure what we saw were boy parts. Oh well, they said he looks good and healthy from what they can tell so that's all that matters. I wore blue today and I keep dreaming it's a boy so I'm not really too shocked.

It was really neat watching it move around in there. We got good profile pics. Tony said he could watch it move around all day. I asked him if he felt any differently now that he's seen it and it's probably a boy and he said he kinda wanted it to be a girl. I asked him why and he said because he knew that is what I wanted and it would make me happy. I thought that was very sweet and I just told him I am happy. We have a healthy looking boy so either way it's a good day.

Big day tomorrow

So I'm still having headaches but I really think they are from my neck and shoulder injuries. I will talk to the doc tomorrow about it again.
We have a big day tomorrow. Hopefully we will be able to see if it is a girl or a boy. But most importantly the doctor will be able to tell us if my cervix is in good shape. Normally, I would really be stressing about this, but I truly think it is gonna be okay and my body will be able to carry to term.
The thing I've been most stressing about lately is a name for this kid. I'm trying not to even think about it since there is no point in trying to find names when we don't even know the sex yet. Tony is stuck on Blake for a boy which is not gonna happen. For a middle name maybe, but not for the first name. He insists on making me crazy and stress over his stupid names Slade, Drake, Gage, Blake, ugh! I think he thinks it's funny but he doesn't realize that stress is bad for me. He shouldn't put any undo stress on me just for kicks. But he is Tony and that's what he does. I really hope this baby is a girl because the thought of having to raise 2 Tony's scares the crap out of me. Hopefully we will find out tomorrow.
Think pink.

Surprise appt.

So I've been having headaches for the past 4 days off and on all day long. I finally got around to talk to the nurse and she said I should come in, so I did. The doctor asked all sorts of questions but we still aren't sure what the cause is. she prescribed me something because I said Tylenol does nothing to help. She said if this doesn't get the headaches under control, then I need to go to the ER to get my head checked out. She said it might be pregancy migraine related but we don't know. The drugs she gave me should help. I go to the osteopathic doctor tomorrow to get adjusted so maybe that will help and be the cause of it all and we can be done with it. We will see.

While I was there, she listened for th eheartbeat again. She said the baby is at the stage where it will swim away from the doppler when she pushes on it and sure enough she said that's what our baby did...swim, swim swim until finally she caught it and I heard such a strong little heartbeat this time. At 12 weeks I thought he was lying to me when he said this is the heartbeat because I barely heard anything. But this time, it was unmistakeable. 150bpm strong. Picturing the baby run away from the doppler was so cute.

So here i am at 14 weeks. I think I've shrink at bit. Maybe last weeks picture was a food baby or something. I think I'm holding up pretty well so far though. Finally gained some weight: 2 pounds. Now I jsut have to figureo ut how to fit 2 liters of water into my schedule everyday. I'll be in the bathroom every 5 minutes now.

7-13 weeks progress

11-13 week pics

Definite change in belly and boobs. I think I'm gonna start looking at the camera for the next round of pics.

Belly Band

Tried it for a day and it's a no. Too itchy. So I guess I'll just have to go buy more maternity pants.

Maternity pants

I bought my first pair of maternity jeans on Sunday. I thought I might be able to go a little longer without them but once I tried them on, I was amazed at how comfy they are. What have I been missing? I only bought one pair of jeans but work pants are soon to follow. I tried the ones with the big pouch of material that goes over your bump, but my bump is more of a beer belly at the moment so they were too big. I ended up with the low riders that have the elastic waiste. So much better, no more buttons crushing into my belly button. I also bought a belly band. Jury is still out on that one. I'm wearing it now, but it is itchy. At least I don't have to button my pants though.

Bag of chips

I was at Panera today just eating my lunch when I looked down at my chip bag and read the front... It said 1 oz. As I held it in my hands, I thought about it and smiled and realized that is how much our little baby weighs. I keep reading how much it weighs and how big it is but I've never had anything to compare it to until today. My baby weighs as much as a bag of chips at Panera. :-) Just brought a smile to my face and kinda made my day.

12 week Appointment

The appt went well. Heard the heartbeat. Still around 160bpm which is good. Haven't gained any weight yet. My pants are getting tighter though. Boobs have stopped growing for the moment, which is fine by me. the only question Tony asked the doctor is whether I should get a c-section or not. He wants me to get one but he's done no research on it at all. I only want one if this baby is huge or if I can't do it the normal way. We should see how it happens in 6 months I guess.
I outed myself on facebook today. Scary but I'm relieved to finally not care who knows.

Valentine's Day

So Tony and I wanted to go to a nice restaurant for V-day but neither of us got reservations in time so of course they were booked. So instead we ended up going to IHOP and a movie. I had one more request. If he went with me to Babies R Us to look at cribs, then I wouldn't make him register with me when the time came. That would be torture for him. So he agreed and we looked around and got an idea. I was very proud of him, he didn't freak out about the prices too much and he gave his honest opinion about stuff. We had fun making fun of some of the stuff people think they need and some of these toys are crazy. Too much stimulus for those babies but whatever.

Heartburn

Last night I woke up to a terrible pain in my chest. I can only assume it was heartburn. I've had it before a few times but never this bad. It only happens when I'm asleep too, which I think is kinda weird but what do I know. I also have this occasional pain in my stomach, it's a shooting pain but just happens randomly so I'm not freaking out too much about it. Hopefully all my fears will be put to rest on Thursday when we go to hear the heartbeat again. Can't wait to hear it.

7-10 weeks pics

I guess I've grown a wee bit in the past 3 weeks. There's a slight difference. Mostly at the top under my boobs. Don't know if that is bloat or everything getting pushed up. I've noticed that it isn't as comfortable sitting and resting my arms on my stomach anymore. That annoys me, I don't know where to put my arms now. I'm getting very uncomfortable already. I think it's mostly because of my back and neck injuries and all my ligaments are relaxing making it hurt worse. I can't even imagine how my body will feel in the coming weeks if it is this uncomfortable now. Hopefully I will get some energy soon so I can exercise a bit and get some strength back.

Off subject

When you know someone is going to die and you have time to process it, it is almost worse than if you just woke up one day and found out they died. There is a thought process to both ways but I think maybe the sudden loss is better. The shock of it almost takes away some of the pain and sadness. You don't have as much time to think about everything. What could I , should I or would I do. Maybe I'm just more emotional because I'm pregnant. Dying sucks either way.

Cop a feel

I have been feeling myself up everyday lately. My symptoms seem to be starting to fade and that is kinda freaking me out. I dont' get to hear the baby for 2 more weeks so the only thing I have to go on is my symptoms. Hence, why I am feeling my boobs all the time. I just caught myself doing it at work and laughed at myself. Just making sure they still hurt at least a little gives me reassurance. so Iw ill continue to cop a feel whenever I want.

I have been sleeping like a baby lately too. Except when I have to go to the bathroom. I wish I could sleep like this when I wasn't pregnant. Peeing 10x a days is not letting up but once again, it's a symptom so I'm fine with it.

I just can't wait to hear it again. 2 weeks is dragging on. We do get to go to a prenatal class next Wednesday. Hopefully that will be fun and we can learn some stuff too.