Being pregnant

Before I got pregnant I never really thought about what is going on in the life or mind of a pregnant lady. You see a pregnant lady and think how cute or thank goodness that isn't me, depending on what stage in life you are in. But it pretty much stopped there, at least for me. I don't even remember my sister being pregnant or feeling the baby. I didn't even know all the issues she had until I got pregnant and she told me. But since becoming pregnant, I obviously have a new perspective on the issue.

Being pregnant is hard, I don't care if you have an uncomplicated pregnancy or problems up the wazoo. All these changes going on are just plain hard on your body and mind. There are so many things other women don't tell you about what is gonna happen with your hormones and your body. You would think women would talk more openly about it but they don't. We are all on our own for some of this stuff. I guess some stuff is just too embarrassing or yucky to talk about with people you see all the time. Thank goodness for message boards. Those girls put it all out there, no shame, no matter the topic. I have learned so much from those girls.

I hope I'm not cursing myself, but I've had it pretty easy so far this pregnancy. Sure, I've had terrible headaches, and I feel terrible for about 2 hours after I eat, and sleeping is becoming harder to do, but I know I could have it much worse. But I still need to have the occasional pity party for myself about how I feel. Because this is all new to me and some of it I just don't understand or I wish would just go away, and I feel very alone sometimes. I wish I could speed it up so he gets here now, but I know I'm not ready yet and neither is he. I need more time to prepare and I know I will have more things to overcome before that day gets here.

I'm not one of those people who loves being pregnant but I don't hate it either. I'm in the middle on that one. There are some really neat things about being pregnant and some things that really suck. I wanted to do this, but I guess I didn't think or know about all the hard stuff you have to go through in order to get to the big payoff at the end of it all.

This post isn't a pity party post. It is more of a state of conciousness post. This is just what's going on in mind at this moment.

25.5 weeks

Here I am at 25 weeks, still rockin a decent body, although some days I feel huge. So far so good on all fronts.

Complaint of the week: cellulite

I had a little bit on my legs before I got pregnant but good Lord has it attacked me with a vengance since I started growing this little baby. I looked at my legs last night and wanted to cry. It is all over them. In some lighting it looks like I have none and then I move to a different lighting and it's like Blam! where did that come from. I know you are supposed to just go with the flow with whatever is happening to your body when you are pregnant but come on! I've read that some or most of it will go away after I have the baby and breastfeed etc, but I have to live with it until then. That sucks!

I think we are gonna have to switch the nursery and guestroom. The guestroom is so much bigger with more closet space and I just dont' see the point in having a huge room for people to use only a few times a year. The bed and dresser will fit in the smaller room just fine and the baby will have so much crap, we will need the extra space for him. Plus, you don't want to make it too comfortable for guests or they won't want to leave. :-) I'm making the executive decision to move the room. Tony doesn't agree but it's gonna happen.

24 weeks

Had my check up today. Kristi, mom and Tony's mom came to hear the heartbeat. They all got a kick out it. My mom got to feel a tiny kick but he wouldn't do it again for Kristi and Carol. Oh well, next time. Doctor says I'm doing perfectly fine and everything I'm experiencing is normal. I only gained 2 lbs this time which brings my grand total up to 10 pounds. He said that is on the low to normal side. So I'm still showing and not growing. Next appt I get to take the Gestational Diabetes test. What fun!

Rib kicks

He is officially kicking me in my ribs. It's like he's just spinning around and seeing what parts of my body he can kick now. Last night was the first time he kicked me in the ribs. I've heard those can hurt but for now it just feels a little different than the normal kicks but they are definitely getting a little harder. He freaked the cat out the other night when she was laying on my stomach. He kicked and Joy got startled and just looked at my stomach like what was that. Then she went back to sleep. Tony and I just laughed at her.

Nursery furniture

So we went out and got the baby's furniture this weekend. I like it because it looks strong and masculine but not too masculine. I wanted to get it in a cherry finish but Tony liked this color better so I went with this. It didn't really matter to me too much and I'm trying to take some of his input and go with it so he can feel like he's contributed. He may not act like he cares about all this stuff now, but he will later. We also bought a glider and ottoman but I can't find pics of it yet. since we've been saving our reward points on the credit card for awhile, all 4 pieces are only costing us about $450 out of pocket which is great! I also got the bedding. I hope it's cute in realy life.

This weekend wiped me out. We cleaned out the sun room and the dining room and the baby's room in preparation for Karrie's bridal shower this weekend and for the furniture for the baby's room that will be coming in a couple of weeks. I cannot wait until I can quit calling this kid "the baby" and give him a real name. Tony still calls him Blake but I just nod and say whatever. We will figure it out. Jackson and Luke are still my front runners.

23 weeks

I guess this is my 23 weeks picture since I'm slacking on the at home ones. You can see my little bump. I think it's pretty cute.

So here I am at 22 weeks. I'm actually 23 weeks this week but I'm a week behind on taking photos. I feel like I have grown so much in the past 3 or so weeks. I'm still little compared to some people but I'm beginning to feel it in my back and when I'm trying to get to sleep. Not too much to complain about except that I get so full after i eat that I'm pretty miserable for a few hours. But at least my headaches have eased up a bit so I'm not dealing with that so often.

We went on our babymoom to the Bahamas and had a realxing time. Got 3 spa treatments each and won some money on our last night at the casino. didn't really get any sun but who am I kidding, I'll be a glowing white girl forever. Why do I even bother. :-)

Now, everything is going to start going full steam ahead in the next couple of weeks. I have to plan Karrie's bridal shower, go registry shopping, register for some classes, figure out the whole day care situation, and then I have my shower in June. I'm a little overwhelmed but it will all work out I know.

Now if I can just figure out how to eat without feeling terrible afterward life would be great.

Babymoon

Getting ready for our babymoon on Thursday. Cruising to the Bahamas for some sun and fun while I'm still small enough to enjoy it. I just look forward to getting out of town for a few days. We are so used to going on 2 trips a year and we haven't been on any vacations since last April. I guess we are spoiled in some sense but even after the baby gets here I hope we still vacation a lot. It is so refreshing to get away.

Tony officially felt the baby this weekend. He kept thinking it was his pulse but then the baby kicked him hard and there was no denying it. It wasn't that exciting to him but I guess that's fine. Maybe he will be impressed when he sees him move around from the outside.

I hope I get more excited about registering next week. I am just not that into it yet. There is just so much stuff to go through and I don't know what I need or don't need. I'm just ready to get our house in shape so we can start setting up the room.

Baby Boy!

It's a boy! No denying it from the pictures. I had my 20 week ultrasound today and they said everything looks great and right on track. I've gained 8 pounds so far. At this point I should have gained about 10 by now so I'm pretty much on track. Although the Dr. did give me a little crap for gaining 6 lbs in one month, saying I should only be gaining a pound a week and I gained 1.5 week. Well, I was just catching up since I had only gained 2 lbs before that. Whatever!

Anyway, baby weighs 12 oz, about the weight of a can of coke. He has all his little body parts and was laying on his belly for most of the appt. We had to make him roll over to get some of the images. He was a little stubborn but finally cooperated. We could see brain activity and his little heart just beating away. His little muscles on his arms were so cute, takes after Tony with his "guns". We got our money shot and he is definitely all boy. Yes, I wanted a girl but I'm not really disappointed or anything. It will just be a different adventure. Maybe we will get a girl next time if we try again. I'm going to go buy a little outfit this weekend and hang it in the closet to remind us of what is coming our way. I think it will help make it more real too. Tony is still determined to call it Blake but I'll let him have his way until the baby gets here. Then we will give it his real name. Last night Tony came to bed and said "Goodnight Blake" and I said shut up and then we laughed and went to sleep. At least it's a start.

Freak out!

I had a mini freak out last night. I didn't sleep well last night at all. At first I just couldn't get comfortable and then I just started thinking and that usually doesn't bode well for getting a good night's sleep. I just started thinking about having to go grocery shopping with a baby. How will I know how to fit the carseat on the cart? Will Tony just have to come with me everytime or do I just leave the baby at home? Or, if I go to church, do I bring the baby inside in the carseat or in the whole stroller? What if it starts crying? Do I just leave church or any other function I may be at? What if I have trouble breastfeeding? I don't want everyone looking at my boobs trying to help me, so what do I do in that situation? I kept trying to remember what I've seen other mom's do and it was like I have never seen another mom do anything with a baby. I guess never having to deal with those situations, I've never really looked for those things.

Anyway, thoughts like those kept me up for a while and I had a mini panic attack. Everyone is so concerned with how Tony is dealing with all this that I kinda feel left by the way side like I will just know what to do when it happens so no one seems too concerned with me. Well, I'm scared to death to think of all the things I have no idea how to do with this kid.

I'm excited to find out for sure if it's a boy or girl on Thursday but it also will mean that it's all really happening. Things will start to be bought for it, the room will start to come together, our life is gonna change and that is freaking scary. I don't think either one of us realize what we are in for. I lay in bed atnight before I go to bed and just listen to the silence and know that it will not always be like this. I know in the beginning it's gonna be hard but I just hope there are lots of happy moments in there to make it all worth while. I know there will be but right now I can not even imagine what our life will be like in about 4-5 months.

Just had to get that out of my head. Let the freak outs begin. I know they are coming.

On a good note, I felt the baby from the outside last night. I got Tony out there to feel it but of course it stopped before he could. But at least now it's kicking hard enough to feel so I'm sure Tony will feel it in the next couple weeks.

Body - 19 weeks

Well, at my last appt I had only gained 2 pounds so far. The doctor said this month would be a big weight gain month for me. Well, he was right. I think I've gained between 3-5 pounds since last time. Luckily it is still mostly belly and a little bit of boobs. My hips fell like they are widening but not too much yet. It is starting to get a little uncomfortable to sleep on my sides now because of the extra belly weight but I still sleep better than I did before I was pregnant. I hope I don't start to freak out about the weight gain. I know I need to gain weight, I just hope I can do it slow and steady.

The baby is moving more now. I think I feel it everyday but it is still so soft that some days I forget if I felt it that day. This morning it was going a little crazy. It likes the left side a lot. Maybe it will be a left handed baby and make mine and Tony's life a little easier when it comes time to teach it stuff.

One more week until we hopefully confirm with this little mango is. I hope it cooperates so I can go buy stuff with confidence.

Kick Kick

Felt my first real kicks today at 18 weeks. Just sitting at work doing my thing and all of a sudden...kick kick on my left lower belly. Definitely different than the little pops I've been feeling the past couple of weeks. It kinda startled me at first but I knew what it was right away. Kinda cool. I felt my belly and I could feel exactly where he/she was laying. I've been rubbing on it today so maybe that triggered it. Now I'm just waiting for it to happen again. :-)

7-17 week progression

Ultrasound

Had my 16 weeks ultrasound today to check my cervix and the baby. I was getting nervous beforehand but my fears were put to rest once we got going. The doctor said my cervix looks good to go and nothing to worry about and the baby looks good too. HB was 147 and strong. It was moving around stretching and waving to us. It wasn't very cooperative when it came time to see if it is a boy or a girl but the tech said she is 80% sure it is a boy. I saw what she saw and I just knew she would say that. I guess I still have a 20% chance of having a girl but I'm pretty sure what we saw were boy parts. Oh well, they said he looks good and healthy from what they can tell so that's all that matters. I wore blue today and I keep dreaming it's a boy so I'm not really too shocked.

It was really neat watching it move around in there. We got good profile pics. Tony said he could watch it move around all day. I asked him if he felt any differently now that he's seen it and it's probably a boy and he said he kinda wanted it to be a girl. I asked him why and he said because he knew that is what I wanted and it would make me happy. I thought that was very sweet and I just told him I am happy. We have a healthy looking boy so either way it's a good day.

Big day tomorrow

So I'm still having headaches but I really think they are from my neck and shoulder injuries. I will talk to the doc tomorrow about it again.
We have a big day tomorrow. Hopefully we will be able to see if it is a girl or a boy. But most importantly the doctor will be able to tell us if my cervix is in good shape. Normally, I would really be stressing about this, but I truly think it is gonna be okay and my body will be able to carry to term.
The thing I've been most stressing about lately is a name for this kid. I'm trying not to even think about it since there is no point in trying to find names when we don't even know the sex yet. Tony is stuck on Blake for a boy which is not gonna happen. For a middle name maybe, but not for the first name. He insists on making me crazy and stress over his stupid names Slade, Drake, Gage, Blake, ugh! I think he thinks it's funny but he doesn't realize that stress is bad for me. He shouldn't put any undo stress on me just for kicks. But he is Tony and that's what he does. I really hope this baby is a girl because the thought of having to raise 2 Tony's scares the crap out of me. Hopefully we will find out tomorrow.
Think pink.

Surprise appt.

So I've been having headaches for the past 4 days off and on all day long. I finally got around to talk to the nurse and she said I should come in, so I did. The doctor asked all sorts of questions but we still aren't sure what the cause is. she prescribed me something because I said Tylenol does nothing to help. She said if this doesn't get the headaches under control, then I need to go to the ER to get my head checked out. She said it might be pregancy migraine related but we don't know. The drugs she gave me should help. I go to the osteopathic doctor tomorrow to get adjusted so maybe that will help and be the cause of it all and we can be done with it. We will see.

While I was there, she listened for th eheartbeat again. She said the baby is at the stage where it will swim away from the doppler when she pushes on it and sure enough she said that's what our baby did...swim, swim swim until finally she caught it and I heard such a strong little heartbeat this time. At 12 weeks I thought he was lying to me when he said this is the heartbeat because I barely heard anything. But this time, it was unmistakeable. 150bpm strong. Picturing the baby run away from the doppler was so cute.

So here i am at 14 weeks. I think I've shrink at bit. Maybe last weeks picture was a food baby or something. I think I'm holding up pretty well so far though. Finally gained some weight: 2 pounds. Now I jsut have to figureo ut how to fit 2 liters of water into my schedule everyday. I'll be in the bathroom every 5 minutes now.

7-13 weeks progress

11-13 week pics

Definite change in belly and boobs. I think I'm gonna start looking at the camera for the next round of pics.

Belly Band

Tried it for a day and it's a no. Too itchy. So I guess I'll just have to go buy more maternity pants.

Maternity pants

I bought my first pair of maternity jeans on Sunday. I thought I might be able to go a little longer without them but once I tried them on, I was amazed at how comfy they are. What have I been missing? I only bought one pair of jeans but work pants are soon to follow. I tried the ones with the big pouch of material that goes over your bump, but my bump is more of a beer belly at the moment so they were too big. I ended up with the low riders that have the elastic waiste. So much better, no more buttons crushing into my belly button. I also bought a belly band. Jury is still out on that one. I'm wearing it now, but it is itchy. At least I don't have to button my pants though.